Serendipity
by edancel
Summary: Post 11x05 Recurring dreams lead Tony to take a vacation from NCIS to find him his happiness.
1. Chapter 1

**Serendipity**

**_"the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way."_**

post 11x05 (Once a Crook)

**A/N: Hello fellow tiva shippers! I am new to this so, please take it easy on me! This is my very very first fan fiction, so also please don't set your expectations high. I decided since it's a new year I might as well do something productive.. Like I was thinking, why the hell not? haha! I mean I have nothing else to do, so I might as well do something! But enough about me. Let's get to the story! Please Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own these wonderful characters. Although I wish I did. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

A woman silently walks into the bullpen. He can't help but notice a cascade of beautiful brown curls covering her face. Curiosity takes course and before he knows it, he is standing right in front of her. As this mysterious woman turns her head to face him, she smiles. God, he missed that smile. Those dark chocolate eyes too. They have a certain undefinable sparkle to them. Alluring and serene, with a touch of nostalgia. Her perfect olive skin. The list could go on for sure.

"You're back." He said as he released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

She nods.

"Please tell me you're here..to stay."

That's when he noticed the smile had dropped from her face and replaced it with a look that did not look like her at all. She looked hurt. He attempted to pull her into a hug, but she stepped back, as if she did not know who this man was. She retreated, running to the emergency stairs.

"Wait!" He cried.

At the sound of his plea she turned around to look at him one last time. All he saw was the regret in her eyes, but nonetheless, she resumed on leaving. Desperately running to the stairs, he stopped mid-way into the door frame as he saw no one was in sight. _She was gone._

* * *

Startled, Tony woke up. It was a dream. Another terrible, God-forsaken dream. He sighed. Disoriented, he observed his surroundings. He was in the bullpen, supposedly working on late paperwork but dosed off before he could finish. Damn, these dreams are becoming more frequent.

"Dinozzo." A voice said.

"Yeah, boss?"

"It's Saturday night. Go home. It's late. "

"Are you sure? I mean I have finish-"

"Home. Now."

"Yes boss." Tony replied.

Gathering all of his things, he mumbled thanks and left the bullpen. He stepped into the elevator as the doors opened and as they closed he managed to give a final wave of goodbye to Gibbs.

* * *

"Hey Kate. Missed you at work today." He said as he picked up a bottle of food and spreading its contents into the bowl.

"Oh don't give me that look. I'm fine, really. I'm fine." Tony muttered as he took his keys, wallet, and cell-phone out of his pockets and placed them onto a mantel by the fireplace.

Entering his bedroom, he quickly changed into a more comfortable attire and then made his way to the kitchen to grab a beer.

"Okay, maybe it isn't all that bad talking to a fish about my feelings. You don't mind, don't you Kate?" Tony shouted from the kitchen.

Now sitting on the couch with a cold, refreshing beer in hand, he contemplates whether he should actually talk to this fish about her. It never stopped him before. Or is he going crazy? Regardless, he opens up his mouth and begins talking. Immediately feeling an invisible weight lift off of his shoulders.

* * *

"The same thing keeps happening. These dreams, I mean. It's like she's back, but then she leaves me again. You know? I thought when these dreams first happened, I was okay. That they meant nothing, I thought it was just a dream. I thought that I could move on, because isn't that what she wants me to do? But they just kept appearing and I got lost. I am lost. Every time I close my eyes, she is there in front of me. The worst part? It all felt so real. But whenever I try to reach her, to touch her.. she runs. She runs until she's gone. And then that's when I wake up.

"Maybe I should take a few days off, what do you think Kate?" Tony asked obviously not needing for a reply.

Maybe he did need some vacation time. Now especially. However, if he wanted a vacation, he should tell Gibbs.

He then turned his attention to his television. A movie night sounds great. Maybe he could watch some Magnum P.I. That would definitely get his mind off of her. When he put in the tape though, he immediately fell peacefully asleep.

* * *

When he awoke from his sleep, it was an early Sunday morning.

After settling down in the living room with breakfast and a bottle of beer in hand, he remembered what his task for today was.

"This is going to be difficult, but it may be worth something." Tony remarked.

Finished with his breakfast, he put his plates into the dishwasher and went to the bedroom to change.

* * *

"Thanks again Kate," Tony mumbled as he grabbed his keys, wallet and cell-phone from the mantel and hastily left the apartment complex.

Arriving at his destination, he pulls his car into parking. He can honestly feel his heart rate begin to quicken. Yet, he doesn't even know why he feels this way. He doesn't know why he is panicking. It's probably that one beer he had that is causing this little adrenaline, he's sure. Really it's just a simple task. Asking Gibbs for vacation days? Easy. But why can't he bring himself to do it?

Tony groans in frustration as he picks up the nerve to get out of the car. He knocks, then suddenly remembers Gibbs never locks his door. Stepping inside, he is relieved to feel the warmth. Seeing that Gibbs isn't on this floor, he instantly looks toward the opening of the basement. A hint of light reassures Tony that Gibbs is in his basement, probably working on a boat. As always.

"Boss?" Tony asked.

"Right here, Dinozzo. What do ya want?" Gibbs acknowledged.

"This new?" Tony asked, referring to the wooden boat without a name in front of him.

"Yeah."

Quickly changing the subject, Gibbs repeated his question, "What do you want, Tony?"

"I..uh, I would like to take a couple days off. You know, for my vacation." Tony replied.

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what I'm doing, Boss. Ever since Israel, I haven't been the same. I just need time to work this out for myself." Tony responded, obviously exasperated.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Tony repeated, quite shocked by the outcome of this conversation.

"Yeah, you have two weeks, Dinozzo. Just, be safe."

And with that, he left Gibbs' home and set out for a journey that may change his life.

* * *

**A/N: Voila! It may be short, but the others will be longer! This is just an introduction chapter, sorry if it's not well written! Again I'm new at this! Please tell me what you think! Also suggestions for the next chapters is highly appreciated! Thank you!**

**~edancel x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Serendipity**

**A/N: Hello again! I really enjoyed reading those reviews (and I enjoy the followers as well!) So thank you! I was wondering how do you feel about an update every Sunday? Because I resume school tomorrow, so it would be hard to write while tests, and exams are taking place.. Leave your opinion in the review section:)  
**

**Now, here is your chapter 2!**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

He looked up and groaned when he saw the times for his last minute vacation. Four hours? What is he going to do for four hours? God, he might as well sleep. Maybe when he closes his eyes he won't see her anymore. Maybe he won't feel the familiar pain every time he attempts to reach out to her. Maybe.

Tony spotted a nearby chair and sat down. He tiredly looked around to observe the people around him, mostly families running to catch their flights, or business men sitting at tables discussing their work. But that's when he saw her in line, getting ready to enter a gate. She was wearing the exact outfit she wore when they first met. Faded purple scarf over her head, lustrous dark curls tied up into a pony tail, forest green jacket with a clean white colored tank top underneath and pale emerald military pants.

It couldn't be her, she was in Israel. Wasn't she? Immediately he sat up straight, all the tiredness suddenly gone. Leaving his bags, he quickly followed her, only to be stopped by the security guards. Saying that he needed a boarding pass to enter. At the sound of him calling her name, she turned around, formed a warm, welcoming smile and made a gesture to follow her. But how? He ran back to pick up his bags and in an instant, got himself a pass to Los Angeles.

* * *

"Dammit," Tony complained, now awake.

He is actually at the airport, but he didn't even have boarding pass. He could never escape from her, can he? What the hell are these dreams trying to tell him? He smirked. At least she didn't seem afraid this time. It was like she wanted him to go with her, willingly. He looked at the times again, the flight he was originally going to, New York, leaves in one hour. However, the other flight leaves in a half an hour.

Sitting up, Tony reconsidered his options. Should he really go there? It was just a dream after all. Perhaps if he chooses to go there, it may turn out to be something greater than going to the Big Apple. Technically speaking - the attractions, beaches, cars, movies, ..women. His mind shifts to her, the one who he is in love with, and yet here he is thinking about West Coast women. He gives himself a Gibbs slap.

With fifteen minutes to spare, he reaches the check-in desk and finally makes a decision.

"I hope you have a wonderful flight, Mr. Dinozzo," the lady says, offering him a charming smile.

"Thanks, I will, " He assured.

"Now boarding flight 276 to Los Angeles." A voice roared from the public address system.

Grabbing his things, he entered the gate pleasantly.

* * *

The first thing he did when he got onto the plane was to look for her. These recurring dreams cannot just be a coincidence. He doesn't believe in coincidences. _They had to mean something_. He's on a plane to Los Angeles because of them, something has to happen here, regardless.

Putting those thoughts aside, he begins to think of NCIS. Gibbs, Mcgee, Abby, Ducky, and even Palmer. They're all probably worried about him. A call to them might not seem so bad now.

Tony dials a familiar number, hoping for him to answer.

"Mcgee."

"Tim! How are you?" Tony exclaimed.

"Uh, hi Tony. Where are you?" Mcgee asked.

"On my way to L.A, my dearest Elf Lord." Tony responded, chuckling.

"Why exactly?"

"To see the new Bond movie," Tony joked.

"Very funny. Do you have at least a place to stay?"

"I knew I forgot something. Do you mind using your wonderful computer skills and book me a hotel?" Tony requested.

"I guess," Mcgee answered.

Quickly changing the subject, Tony asked if they have a case.

"Yeah, Marine found stabbed outside of Baltimore...and two shot in Quantico. Hopefully they aren't connected," Mcgee addressed.

"Wow, what you got there is a lot on your plate Mcgee. Have fun with that," Tony chimed.

"I think can handle it. Anyways, I booked you a hotel by Venice Beach. It's called the Ritz Milner Hotel."

"Thank you Tim! I'll take pictures for you." Tony concluded.

As Tony was about to hang up, seemingly thinking the conversation is over, Mcgee spoke again.

"Tony?" Mcgee asked, hesitantly.

"Yeah?" Tony replied.

"Take care of yourself. I know you haven't been yourself lately, so yeah. I hope you find whatever you're looking for."

"Thanks, Mcgee. I appreciate it."

* * *

The flight lasted longer than Tony expected it to be. His conversation with Mcgee still in mind. The younger man may seem annoyed by Tony's teasing, but deep down, Tony knows Mcgee cares.

Stepping out of the plane, Tony breathes in the California air. The scent reminds him of the last time he came here, when he went with _her_, alongside Jenny. The two of them were given the assignment of guarding Jenny while she was in Los Angeles, attending a former NCIS Agent's funeral. But apparently the former Director did not want the duo to be involved, so she gave them the rest of the day off. Which ultimately lead to Jenny's death.

Quickly shaking those memories from his head, he called for a taxi and gave directions to his hotel. It's 2300 hours by the time he enters, and his eyes widens with amazement. The decor of this place was breath-taking, peaceful even. Mcgee definitely has good taste.

Entering his room after checking in, he immediately dropped his bags, took of his shoes, and took his time to examine the room. The walls are a warm beige color, along with the door. Next, he finds his way into the bathroom and is still in awe. In the corner, there is a spacious oval shaped bathtub that is a sparkling ivory color, and on the right there lays the toilet and sink of the same color and cleanliness. Lastly, he examines the enormous and magnificent creme color queen-size bed in the middle of the room and yawns.

"Wow Mcgee really has good taste," He whispered, as he falls onto the unbelievably soft mattress, pulling the blanked tight over him. Without another thought, he went out like a light. Finally a sleep that went undisturbed.

* * *

The next day, Tony went to a car rental place. All he knew was that he just needed to drive. Drive anywhere, perhaps to go sight seeing. Or to find whatever he is looking for. He just hopes he finds it.

After about two hours of driving aimlessly around Los Angeles, Tony felt his stomach rumble. He unknowingly put his hand over his stomach. Maybe he can find a gas station to buy some food. Up ahead by 2 miles was indeed a gas station. Tony felt a sign of relief flood through him for the gas tank was on the verge of being empty.

Surprisingly, a distant memory from years ago suddenly popped into his mind. He had an argument with _her_ at this very same gas station. Huh. How time flies.

* * *

"Excuse me, Sir, but are you going to buy something?" The cashier said, breaking Tony's trance.

"Oh, yeah sorry." Tony babbled. Then placed the items and money on the counter for the cashier to take.

"Are you going to put in some gas too?"

"Yeah, sorry, again." Tony repeated, putting more money onto the counter.

"Have a nice day, Sir." The cashier addressed while inappropriately examining a young woman who just walked into the store.

As Tony was about to walk out, he turned and observed the young man. He concluded that he reminded him of himself when he was younger. Hell, he reminded him of the old naive Dinozzo. The one who 'hit on anyone with a skirt on'. The one that disappeared when _she_ walked into his life.

* * *

By the time he reaches a beach it was eight o'clock. He calmly steps out of the vehicle and puts his black aviators on. Feeling his toes in the sand makes him feel more relaxed.

When he finds a vacant lawn chair he lays down and closes his eyes. He can feel the wind blowing slightly, and he can hear the waves crash against the shore. Yet, all he can picture is her being next to him. She is all he sees despite thinking coming to this place would help him find himself. He misses her. He came to that realization about a couple of weeks after his trip from Israel. She was his soul mate. She _is_ his soul mate. She kept him from going insane. Maybe these dreams will too.

* * *

**A/N: I know this chapter isn't one of the best, but really this one was hard to write. Also, there's a pattern if you don't see it... where do you think his next dream will take him?  
****Also, Ziva won't be appearing in a couple chapters or so, like I just have to find an absolute perfect way to write her in. So please keep reading. I promise you though, when Ziva appears, it'll be spontaneous.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello all! How was everyone's week?**

**Anyways, I am sad to inform you that I will be taking a rather brief haitus. It really was not smart of me at all to start a fan fiction so close to my exams, I apologize. It's just my exams are almost a week away and I have to get studying. I will return the first Sunday of February. But there may be something next Sunday if I will be able to finish the next chapter.. I cannot guarantee anything though. **

**Now, here's chapter 3! Enjoy! (really I feel like shit for doing this guys, I am so, so sorry.)**

* * *

A beautiful woman with curly brown hair and ravishing perfect olive skin returned to him with a baguette in hand. She smiles, that all too recognizable smile that is just for him as he briefly looks up into her eyes. He momentarily felt the world freeze in front of him. It made his knees feel weak. Those damn dark chocolate eyes always have an affect on him.

For a long time there was silence, but then she finally spoke.

"Tony, why are you here?" She asked softly.

"I'm here because of you. You led me here," He admitted.

She was silent for a moment. Then she moved closer, close enough until she could feel him breathing over her. They held their gazes. At that moment she cupped his face affectionately. It made his pulse quicken. She spoke.

"Then keep following me," She whispered into his ear, then ended the conversation by walking away to the Eiffel Tower.

* * *

"Are you kidding me?" Tony muttered bitterly as he awoke.

Suddenly, he remembered he was at the beach. Presumably fell asleep by the ocean in Los Angeles. Los. Angeles. How long would that even take to get to Paris? He sighs with defeat and runs a hand through his hair. The things he does for this woman.

What intrigues him the most are these dreams. They have to mean something, he's sure of it. They already led him to Los Angeles, and now? They're leading him to the famous City of Lights. She's bringing him to the places they have visited together. However, the ultimate question is: is she leading him to the place where he will find himself? He's convinced revisiting these places will help him find out who he is. Tony shakes his head is disbelief. All he has to do is link the puzzle pieces together.

Arriving at his hotel room, he places his phone on the hazel colored nightstand and charges it. Then he heads directly to the bathroom to shower.

"Where are you going to take me next, Ziva?" He wonders.

Upon finishing with the shower, he steps out, cleans up and changes. Afterwards, he packs his clothes and heads to the main floor to check out.

* * *

It's noon when he reaches the outside of the Ritz Milner. He takes his phone out of his pocket and calls a taxi. It has only been two days and he is already tired of taxis. Without a doubt, he'll probably hate airports too.

As the taxi rolls up in front of him, Tony calmly enters the yellow vehicle. As he closes the door and buckles up the seat belt, the distinct smell of stale cigarettes from previous passengers wafts up his nose.

He momentarily looks up at the Taxi driver from the rear-view mirror. Tony thinks he's in his mid 60's. Light skinned. Reminds him of his uncle Vincenzo. A little plump, but muscular. His hair, dark and greasy, is a dull color like faded hardwood. But that comparison isn't entirely fair, he supposes. The depths of that deep pale chestnut brown reflects his smile and steel blue eyes. Probably Italian. By the time Tony finishes observing the man, he notices the taxi driver already looking at him, probably wanting to start a conversation. He grins and before Tony knows, the man is speaking to him.

"You look like you went to hell and back," The driver stated, Italian accent thick.

_Definitely Italian._

"Yes, well-," Tony explained, but got cut off when the man spoke again.

"Name's Francesco. But you can call me Frankie," he continued.

"Tony. Say, do you always not let people finish their sen-"

"Ah, Tony. That's an Italian name. Are you Italian too?" Frankie questioned.

"Yeah." Tony managed to say, tired of being interrupted.

There was silence. But of course, the man spoke once more.

"Where are you from? Are you from America?"

Tony sighed, "I live in Washington. Washington D.C."

"That is a long way from here, my friend," Frankie commented.

"It is," Tony murmured, no longer looking at the man in front of him.

Instead, Tony began to look outside the window, viewing the world before him. He notices the vibrant blue cloudless sky first, the way the warmth from the sun hit his face. Next he sees a beach. The waves casting themselves on the soft and golden sand, the sun making it sparkle like glitter. He would rather get lost in a trance by looking at the ocean than thinking about her being with him at the very moment. Which he does.

Frankie looks at Tony from the rear-view mirror. It is his turn to observe the younger man. He is wearing a salmon color long sleeve button-up with faded blue denim jeans. Frankie chuckles at the sight of Tony's crop of brown hair tussled in a 'not bothering to comb my hair even though I just got out of the shower' look. Clearly he had to leave in a hurry. Nonetheless, Frankie could not help but notice the way his sea green eyes filled with worry, sorrow and determination. The heavy bags under his eyes give away his exhaustion and hopelessness.

He feels a stab of guilt rise up in him. Why should he care about a stranger? Most of the people that ride in his vehicle are ignorant, impolite and rambunctious. But this guy? He's none of those things. He actually seems like a good person. So, maybe it's because he's pitying him? Or perhaps it's because he sees a little of himself in the younger man and doesn't want him to grow old and be a worthless taxi driver. Definitely the latter. Before his brain can process what is happening, Frankie opens his mouth and begins speaking.

"Alright. You honestly look like hell, kid. Listen, If it's about a job, keep applying to other ones. You never know where they may take you. If it's about family, just realize you have friends who will be there for you, even when your family isn't. Because you know what? They probably care about you. If it's about a girl, well, as corny as this may seem, follow your heart. If it tells you to move on, to get rid of the nagging pain in your heart, then move on. But if it tells you to make sure she doesn't slip through your fingers, _never let her go_, because, well," Frankie pauses. "You might never get a chance with a girl like that again.

"Wherever it may lead you, I'm sure it will determine whether or not you will have a future with her. Tony, whatever it is that is troubling you, just know you can either stay in the past for the rest of your life, constantly thinking about what you could have done instead of actually doing it, or getting your shit together and look forward to the future. But in order to look forward to the future, you have to be happy with the decisions you make. Keep asking yourself, is it really worth it?"

Tony became still on the jet-black leather seat, speechless. More than speechless, he thought. He is flat out stunned. He is stunned that the words spoken came out of a _cab driver. _When Tony looks up to meet Frankie's eyes, he sees the older man as shocked as he is. _He_ didn't even know he could say something like that.

Tony shifts uncomfortably on the seat and rubs the nape of his neck. How is he supposed to respond to that? Tony shakes his head and closes his eyes. He decides to not to say anything at all for the rest of the ride.

After ten minutes, Frankie disrupts the awkward silence, "Here we are young man, Los Angeles National Airport. Have a good day."

He grunts as he steps out of the yellow vehicle while taking note of Frankie's sudden change of character. He considers should at least say thanks for the ride. Or maybe he should say thank you for helping him reassure that going to these places are exactly what he should be doing to be at peace with himself. But he does neither.

"Hey Frankie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

* * *

"Bonjour Monsieur. Welcome to Paris." a woman says politely. Tony tiredly nods in return. It was around 1100 hours when he arrived.

God, out of all places, she _had_ to bring him here. He remembers distinctively that he wanted to discuss with her what happened here all those years ago..what happened between them. But of course, he never had the opportunity.

Finding his bags, he walks out of the airport and is temporarily blinded from the rays coming from the sun. After regaining his vision, Tony spots a nearby outdoor café. When he arrives, immediately the smell of freshly baked bread fills his nostrils. He never realized how hungry he was until now. Tony finds an empty table and happily sits down, eying the petite blond waitress as she walks past him and heads into the inside of the restaurant.

Finishing his lunch, the same petite blond waitress smirks at him as she places a single thin white paper on his table and walks away. The bill. While Tony opens his wallet, something catches his attention that is sticking out of a pocket. Perhaps it was a receipt? Or a movie ticket he forgot to throw out? Whatever it was, it did not stop him from reaching for it. When he unfolds it, his eyes widen in astonishment as he feels them also begin to water. Tony presses his lips together firmly. It was a picture of _her_. He actually forgot he put that picture in his wallet. He just cannot quite believe that he kept that picture in his wallet after so many years. Literally years. He felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips.

Well, it is his favorite picture after all.

* * *

**A/N: I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! I actually had fun writing this one... Again, I am so sorry I have to go on haitus. But school, you know? **

**~edancel x**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello ya'll! I am back and thank the lord my exams are over. I really appreciate all the follows and favorites and reviews! Really, it means a lot! Also, we are now back to the ****schedule - updating every Sunday. I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend! Now here is your chapter four - I tried to make it longer than the others because of my absence, so yeah. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed.**

**Chapter 4**

* * *

When he opens his eyes, the room is dimly lit from the luminous moon. This hotel reminds him of the one they stayed in, in Berlin. Same cream colored walls, same soft dark brown colored blankets, same _everything_. The harder Tony thinks, he realizes that this is the hotel they shared in Berlin. This exact one. The hotel where she looked so...dominant. Let's face it, he loves it when she takes control, hell, he knew he was falling for her ever since she asked him about phone sex. He chuckles ever so slightly at the thought.

Suddenly he feels a body nestled into his side, her back facing his torso. Whoever this person is, she looks like she is sleeping quite peacefully. Carefully, he moves into a more comfortable position to examine this person. Immediately he takes in a shallow breath.

_It's her. She is here, beside him. She's here._

Lying back on the comforter, Tony closes his eyes and lets out a sigh of relief. Instinctively, he protectively wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her closer against his chest. He nuzzles his face into her curls as he smells the luscious coconut scented shampoo she's using and feels the warmth she possesses. Ready for slipping into unconsciousness, he attempts to tighten his grip on her for reassurance that this is real, but felt nothing. Instantly feeling panic rise up in him, he hastily grasps for her as he quickly opens his eyes.

_All he saw was the emptiness of sheets beside him._

* * *

Defeat came and he was forced to open his eyes to the unwanted sunlight peeking through the windows. He sits up straight, lazily throwing the comforter off of him and rubs his eyes.

It is his third day in the famous City of Lights, and to be honest, each day makes him miss her more. He tried to get his mind off of her by exploring the historical land marks and wasting his money on useless souvenirs but unfortunately, to no avail. What else was he supposed to do? How is he supposed to get his mind off of the one person that makes him feel truly happy. Maybe it is because she's different. She is not like any other woman Tony had feelings for, he had to admit. He knew when he started to develop feelings for her, he was in trouble. If something were to happen to her, he knew he would go crazy because hell, _he was crazy about her. _He knew that there were an amount of feelings between the both of them, love being indefinite. He knew he couldn't live without her. Yet here he is, alone in a cheap hotel and indeed living without her.

He frowns as he rolls off the bed and immediately heads to the bathroom to take a shower.

* * *

Hearing the elevator doors open, Tony calmly entered. Feeling awkward in this little confined space, he looks beside him and sees an elderly couple smiling up at him. Tony smiles back and opens his mouth to start a conversation.

He extends his hand to the man and says, "I'm Tony."

The lady grins and happily looks up at her husband, who begins to shake his hand. Tony presumed she could not speak very well considering there were two nasal tubes from her nose connecting to what Tony thinks is an oxygen tank behind her. Then her husband spoke.

"I'm Bill," he replied, "I assume you aren't from France either," chuckling as if were a joke. His wife gently nudged his side obviously waiting for an introduction. The corners of Bill's mouth went up as he gestured to the woman before him,"and this right here is the love of my life, Angela," who was now smiling at Tony.

Tony felt his stomach begin to cringe at the words _love of my life _and his smile begins to fade. He always imagined - although it is odd, him introducing her to people and proudly telling them 'this woman is the love of my life'. It would always be happy moment for the both of them knowing all too well that it was the truth. The promiscuous Anthony Dinozzo - the player, the one-night stander. Anthony Dinozzo, who finally settled down and found the one. Tony shakes his head and runs a hand in his hair. _If only it was that easy.__  
_

The man, Bill, noticed the way the younger man's face had fallen when he mentioned Angela. Bill coughs in the moment of silence to get the man's attention and interrupts Tony and his train of thought. Tony looks into the eyes of the older couple and felt his own face flush.

"So do _you_ have a woman in your life, young man?" Bill asked and smirked down at his wife who was looking at Tony for a response.

A smile tugs at the corners of Tony's mouth, "It's complicated," as he breaks eye contact with the couple and shoves his hands into his pockets.

Is it complicated? Definitely. Tony assumes that would be the best way to put their relationship status, because it was complicated. When she left him in Israel all those months ago he thought he could handle her absence. He was handling it pretty well for that time being - minus the lack of sleep and ability to concentrate properly. Every time he would close his eyes, there she was. Not the content and loving woman he has come to known, but the mysterious and determined woman when they first met. However when the dreams happened, Tony felt something in him change. He felt like he was not who he was anymore. She made him want to be a better person. And so he did. When she left him, he felt like a part of him left too. Maybe that is what he needs to find in order to find himself. The part of him that left when she did.

Tony did not exactly know why he even let himself get on the plane. Everyday, he sits in his desk and looks at hers from across the bullpen. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy. If leaving her to recollect her thoughts was one step to making her happy again then maybe he did make the right decision.

"Well, son, I hope you fix whatever it is that's broken between you two," Bill cautioned.

"And you look like a handsome lad, I may say," the lady croaked, voice hoarse and raspy,"She must be lucky to have you."

"_I_ am lucky to have her," Tony corrected quietly as the elevator came to a halt and the golden colored doors opened to the main floor.

"That you are," the older man continued as he pokes his head out of the elevator to assure himself this is where him and his wife need to get off from, "It was nice talking to you, son," Bill said as he let out a soft smile as Tony nods.

After the couple steps off the elevator, Tony does the same and picks up his bags and proceeds to lug them to the front desk to check out.

* * *

Mumbling a quick thank you to the taxi driver, Tony opens the yellow trunk of the vehicle and gathers his things. As he enters the airport, he walks over to the line of people who also were intending to buy a plane ticket. When Tony looked behind him, a line of more people just so happens to grow longer and longer. By the time he reaches the desk, the employee in front of him gives Tony a charming smile and asks where Tony plans on going in a thick french accent. Tony tells the tall and broad man precisely where he wants to go and then proceeds to asking politely for Tony's proper credentials. When all is done, the man gives Tony his ticket and bids him farewell.

"Here is your ticket to Berlin ," the younger man says as he flashes him that charming smile and then continues, "Have a très merveilleux flight Monsieur Dinozzo."

When Tony arrives at his destination, he feels nothing but the feeling of perseverance. Perseverance to find himself. He will he is sure of it, and by the looks of it, he is getting closer. He glances at his watch and taps his left foot impatiently. The sun is setting quickly and he needs to find yet, another hotel to stay in.

It was 2300 hours when he finds a place to settle in. The doorman looked invitingly enough to lure Tony to the small, lively hotel. Finished with checking in, he grunts as he brings his bags over his shoulder and begins to head to his room. When he enters, his green eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. The hotel room looks almost exactly like the one he shared with her when they came to this European country. To be honest, it scared him. Another coincidence. Shouldn't he not believe in coincidences?

All of a sudden his legs begin to weaken. Jet lag is finally hitting him he supposes. He places his luggage down and begins to search for a more comfortable attire to sleep in. Satisfied with what he has chosen - a worn out Ohio state t-shirt and gray sweat pants - he quickly heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and then walks directly to the cream colored bed to suspend his mind of consciousness.

It was past three in the afternoon when he has awoken. His eyes wince as he looks out the window to the sunlight making its way through the ruffled curtains. Sitting straight up, Tony contemplates whether he should go out and explore Berlin again or stay inside the whole day and watch foreign movies. He chooses the latter. _He could sight see tomorrow._ As he makes his way to the coffee maker, he finds a white mug with the hotel's logo on it. When he thinks the coffee is made, he pours some of the hot liquid into the mug and stirs it thoroughly. For what seems like hours, he finishes with the making of his coffee and brings it to the queen sized bed to sit down - feeling it dip into his weight. Finding the remote control, Tony eagerly flips through the channels to find a satisfying movie, occasionally sipping his coffee at the same time. When he finally finds a decent movie he places the remote beside him and begins to watch it with curiosity.

He knew instantly what the movie was and it was another damn coincidence. Tony runs a hand over his face and sighs. Normal routines are more difficult than he thought. He can't even watch a movie without thinking of her. Nonetheless, he continues to watch the movie but he continues to watch it more carefully - thinking of how this movie relates to him and her and their relationship.

After fifteen minutes of the movie, Tony felt his stomach grumble. Knowing he did not want to actually get dressed and go out to eat, he simply took the phone on the nightstand and called up room service. One man and one woman who looked very similar to Tony and _her_ were at his door within ten minutes. The man, who spoke english took one look at the television and told Tony that what was playing is a classic, and he should not miss any word of it. Tony replied politely that he knew what happens in the movie and that he is trying to 'not missing any word of it.' The two employees left smiling at each other after serving his food.

Finished with his food and coffee, he took the platter and laid it outside of his door hoping that the housekeeper will soon find it. Then he made his way to the counter once more and refills his coffee. As he sits down on the bed, he lowers his coffee and takes a deep breath as he watches the scene before him. Tony mutters bitterly at himself for even letting himself watch this movie, but how could he say no to a classic?

He glances at the clock behind him, it was 1900 hours and the movie was long finished. He cautiously flips through the channels hoping to find another classic movie to watch, but unfortunately he ends up with nothing. So for the remainder of the day, he only watched german television game shows. When he did lose himself in his sleep, the sun had long gone down and the only light in the room was coming from the television that was showing a repeat of the movie he watched earlier, _Casablanca._

* * *

**A/N: does anyone else remember how Michael Weatherly compared Tony and Ziva's relationship to Casablanca? because i did lol  
Anyways, keep on reviewing and favoring and following! They always make my day! Also, if you have any suggestions for the next chapters, don't be afraid to message me! Thank ya'll for being so kind too.. What would I do without you, eh? You guys are the reason I keep writing!**

**With love,**

**~edancel x**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: How was everyone's week? I hope it was awesome. So, uh, here's chapter 5. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 5**

* * *

He meets her mysterious brown eyes and questions her when she says, "Come find me."

He furrows his eyebrows at the words spoken. He knows it would be impossible, but he did find her once, didn't he?

"You could be anywhere," he replies, voice low.

She slowly backs away from him when she speaks, "start with home," she turns her back fully and continues walking.

* * *

"Here is your Margarita, shaken not stirred, sir," the bartender says as he slides the drink over to Tony which so happens to break his trance.

"Sorry. Thanks," he replies as he fishes money from his side pocket. When he finds the right amount, he hands it over to the dirty blond haired bartender.

He supposes it is his last day in Berlin anyway, aside from staying in all day watching television yesterday and seeing land marks and visiting bars today. Tomorrow he'll check out and head somewhere, anywhere - wherever home is.

As he finishes his drink, he crosses past the dance floor and accidentally runs into a woman who is wearing a dazzling dark navy blue sleeveless dress that cuts off by her knees diagonally. A gold object suddenly falls onto the floor. A necklace. When Tony bends down to pick it up, he cannot help but notice the object and what it represents. _The star of David. _His eyes snap up anxiously to meet the young woman's and hands her the necklace cautiously. He can feel his pulse starting to increase rapidly.

He needs to get out of this place. He needs some air.

Somehow, he feet manages to make its way to a small local church. When he enters, his breathing returns to normal. He relaxes. Finding an empty pew near the altar, he begins to kneel and do something he hasn't done for a while. He closes his eyes, clasps his hands together and begins to pray.

_God, if you're listening, I just don't know how I could keep doing this. Normally I don't believe in coincidences, but how can I not after this week? Sure, this is what I want to do - I know this is what I want to do, but when will these dreams end? When will I find myself? How will I find myself? Give me the strength to keep going. Show me a sign, show me anything. Please. _

Tony stays in that position for what seems like hours. The people around him, mostly the elderly and the occasional young adults are all spread out around the pews. Many of them give Tony looks of pity, which he could feel burning holes into his back.

When he feels like God is hearing his prayers, he retreats to the outside of the church to explore the city some more.

What could she mean 'start with home'? Go back to the United States? Or maybe home could mean Israel, because that was where she was born after all. Israel, where memories lay discarded. Israel, the place where she was taught from a young age that emotions are a weakness. But when they met, she was taught wrong. Emotions are a sign of being human to which that is all she is. She never realized that because of him, he taught her how to feel again. To love again.

Tony rubs the back of his nap and soon finds himself outside of his hotel. His time in Berlin seems to be over as of tomorrow.

* * *

He winds up walking on a familiar path leading to the lot. Tony approaches the house carefully. He takes in the way the house itself has come to life ever since she took hold of it. The blooming yellow flowers in front of the windows, in front of the fence.

When he makes his way to the front door, he surpasses a shallow yet uncertain breath that lingers longer than it should. He exhales and brings his fist forward - knocking on the wooden door.

One knock, two knocks, then three knocks. No answer. He shuffles to the window on the right of his and sees no one inside. Tony takes hold of the door nob and carefully twists it until the door is wide open.

The living room itself looks long abandoned. The table in front of the couches is coated in dust, the floor a little dirty. Everything seems as if it had not been touched within two weeks. If he is not mistaken, it seems as if no one has been living here. It seems as if no one has been living here for a while.

Tony walks further into the house and finds another open doorway. The last time he was here, she would not let him explore the house but now he could willingly. He enters the room and his heart aches a little. He thinks it is her bedroom she used as a child.

The room is laced with faded purple. In the middle, a twin sized bed is neatly made. At first glance, it does not like a child's bedroom. But as he looks closely, he knows it is her bedroom. For a child's room, it shows no sign of happiness. It reminds him more of like a military room. Everything plain and lifeless. No toys, no stuffed animals. Most children would have at least one for a keepsake. Most children would have kept them and guarded them with their life.

Tony sits on her bed and relishes the quietness. He feels wrong for looking through her things, but he can't help but ponder with curiosity. Her past is a welcoming mystery.

Next, after walking to what he thinks is Ari's old bedroom, he sticks his head through the open door. As he walks into the room, he can hear the floorboards beneath him creek with every step.

Similar to Ziva's, inside the room consists of a neatly pressed bed in the middle, but what's different is that it seems like a dark presence is lurking within the room. The windows, show no sign of light - shades that have been drawn for years caked with layers of dust.

He parts his fingers through the gray shades, hearing a _clank _noise as he takes sight of what is outside of the room. The place where long memories have come to rest, the place where he told her he was fighting for her.

Tony decides that today is not the right time to visit the orchard because he feels as if he is not ready. He feels as if what took place in that orchards was to keep between them - an act of love expressed through a respectful silence.

Retreating to the living room, he sits down. After minutes of taking in all he seen today, a thought of actually calling her comes to mind. He stirs slightly, only to look for his forgotten cell-phone.

An illuminated glow from the screen of the device makes his eyes squint until they become adjusted. When he scrolls down his contact list, he stops at her name and obliges to click it.

He puts his phone to his ear and waits as the ringing continually begins.

When her voice mail fills his ears, he releases a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He attempts to call her again. When she did not pick up, he releases another breath and his throat tightens.

_Where are you, Ziva? Where could you possibly be?_

What he did when on for hours - calling her and expecting an answer. He began to get restless and hopeless. By then it was 2200 hours.

He tries to call her one last time for the day before he would end up falling asleep on the brown couch in the middle of the room. To him, it feels right to stay at least one night in this place, the place where she was born. Although, it would feel better if he spent it with her.

Expecting her voice mail, a noise that caught him in surprise fills the void.

Static. It did not necessarily mean she answered but what other possibility is there?

"Hello?" Tony says, "Ziva?"

* * *

**A/N: I hope ya'll liked the chapter. We're getting close to her appearance.. just saying. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you guys to cherish your life and everyone in it. A boy who went to my school, who was my age, suddenly passed away last Tuesday. His name is Kevin Siddall. He was fighting for his life for about six months with cancer. He was an inspiration to everyone - hell, even John Green tweeted about him. He was a good soul. So like he said, "your life could drastically change in a matter of seconds. Appreciate each moment, and live life to its fullest."**

**Rest in Peace, Kevin. **

**~edancel x**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hm, I kinda like cliff hangers. Although at the same time they make me want to rip my heart out and stomp on it. Ha. Ha. Also, how was everyone's valentines day? Did you guys spend your valentines day sitting on the couch and watching movies by yourself? because I did!  
I really enjoy reading those reviews, I mean you're all are awesome. Keep reviewing, following, and favouriting though! There are many more chapters to come!  
Here is your chapter 6. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: disclaimed.**

**Chapter 6**

* * *

More static occurs.

"Ziva?" he repeats.

Then, no more static. Tony repeats her name - once, twice, three times. By then he is beginning to sound desperate. Desperate for a response. Unable to bring the phone down from his ear just yet, he draws a shaky breath.

Tony runs a hand over his face and places the cell phone on the coffee table in front of him. Settled into the couch, he waits uncomfortably until he lets sleep consume him.

* * *

A bench at the Navy Yard is what catches his attention. When he sits down, relief floods through him. Taking out a newspaper from the inside of his coat pocket, he begins reading.

To his left, a woman puts her hand on his knee - the touch immediately electrifying. Looking up, he realizes the woman next to him on the bench is Ziva.

"You have to look closer Tony," she pleads.

Tony had no response to that. He searches in her brown eyes for a clue, preferably where he has to look because, well, he can be so oblivious to the worlrd around his when he's with her.

When he is finally capable of having words come out, two words never sounded so desperate.

"I'm trying."

* * *

After looking through some cupboards in the house, he finds cereal in the third cupboard and assumes what he could classify as breakfast.

However, after breakfast, he thinks today is the day he is ready to visit the place where he once held her in his arms.

Tony walks out of the door to the outside of the house and takes sight of the orchard that pained him months ago.

He slowly distances himself with the place where she buried her 'will'. Walking aimlessly around but in that area. Nonetheless, the orchard gives him a little reminiscence.

Finally, feeling guilty of receding that area, he walks over to her 'will' and places a blanket over top the rough texture and lays down, his back to the ground. Tony sighs as he moves his arms behind his head in a swift motion. Hearing the peacefulness and serenity within the vicinity for mere minutes, Tony fights sleep. In the end, he ultimately loses.

* * *

"You have to go home, Tony. Go back to America, yes?"

"Home is wherever I'm with you, Ziva."

"But Gibbs, Mcgee, Abby, the team? Are they not your family?"

"No..no they are. They are my family. But you're my family too, Ziva," he says as he releases a breath, obviously exasperated.

"Then go home."

* * *

He wakes up and grasps the blanket, dirt filing underneath his fingernails.

Go home? Go back to America? After this whole week - basically living with a constant feeling thinking he should do something more with his life, pass another milestone, finding himself. With so much he still has to do, she's telling him to go home? Why the hell did she tell him to go home at this very moment? Why not before?

He sits up and tilts his head backwards - observing the night sky above him. Time has surely gone by quickly. His head faces upwards for a good hour, examining the constellations above. All of a sudden a white light paints the sky. A shooting star. Tony closes his eyes tightly and makes a wish.

He shouldn't let this bother him more than it should of. With the amount of money he spent, his gut tells him that he did do something with his life. He went all over the world, some people dream to do that. This mid life crisis, or so he thinks actually helped him connect some of the pieces that were missing in his life. He should not really get worked up about this.

When he finally stands up, he folds the blanket, and heads into the house.

Tony enters the kitchen to wash his hands. When he finishes, he checks his phone and feels a smile begin to form at the message Mcgee conveyed.

_Hey Tony. How are you? I was just checking in since your vacation is almost over. Text me back when you see this, or you know, whenever you can._

Tony chuckles and rereads the text a couplee of times for reasurrance that the younger man actually said this. To be honest, after she left, the two of them became closer. Tony begins typing on his phone.

_I've been okay. Had better days. Thanks for asking._

After being sent for two minutes, a reply came instantly.

_Alright. That's good to know. I guess I'll see you when you get back._

Afterwards, Tony begins raiding the cupboards for dinner. Once he found what he was looking for, he prepares to eat.

* * *

"Ah, Agent, I see you are back in Israel. Are you here to kick my ass, perhaps?"

"Good to see you too, Adam," Tony spits out.

Tony was in a middle eastern restaurant in the outskirts of Beer Sheva when the tenacious Israeli agent caught sight of him. Although he flickered a forced smile to the other agent, Tony could never stop the feeling of jealousy that came within.

"Why are you here anyways?"

"Do you have to know?" Tony barked, feeling the anger beginn to rise in him.

"Respectively, no. But why not?" Adam replies, not taken aback by Tony's attitude. He grabs a seat in front of Tony and cracks a mishevious smile.

Tony leans forward and smirks, "Well, Adam, my plane leaves in about forty-five minutes and since you're being so intrusive about my personal life, you think I should tell you? Spill out my heart and guts and what not to a guy a don't care about? I don't care. I don't care about you wanting to know about my personal life because I'm not going to tell you."

Soo silence fills the gap between the two men. Tony instantly felt remoresful when he saw the younger man's smile turn into a frown. After a couple of minutes though, Adam's voice broke the silence.

"Agent Dino- _Tony_. I sincerely apologize for whatever caused you to feel this way towards me. I am just concerened. Although I do not know you well, I assume you are a great man. But the man I see here, the one in front of me seems different to the one I had talked to the last time. Otherwise, I think it is best if I get going. I guess I will see you next time you're in Israel, yes?" Adam said softly as he stood up from his seat and walked out of the doors from the restaurant.

He can't really blame Adam for being so concerned, really. It is true - Tony did change after she left and he is yet to find out if it is a good thing or bad thing.

After the conversation ended, Tony lost his appetite. He aquires the waiters attention, pays the bill, picks up his bags and proceeds to the airport. He is going home.

_Home, is wherever he is with her. She completes him. She makes him feel like something he hasn't felt with other women. She is different. Violet sometimes, yes, but she's his ninja. He knows she loves him. He loves her. But he also loves his team. Not in the same way of course, but he loves them too. So, home is also with the team. His conclusion? Well, like she told him, he has to go home. _


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi guys. I hope you enjoy the chapter! Just a heads up, I guess it's a little sad at the end of the chapter. But seriously, I cannot thank all of you guys enough for following, favouriting and reviewing! So thank ya'll!**

**Chapter 7**

* * *

He opens his eyes and sees her at her desk in the bullpen. Working on cold cases, probably. She looks up at him and laughs. Getting out of her chair, she makes her way to the front of his desk. Her humour now replaced with a mask of stone.

"Tony, please. Do not give up. I know, it is hard. I know it is frigtening, but you have to keep fighting for me. I am near the end. I will come home soon. Keep fighting."

Unable to reply, Ziva's hand cups his chin lovingly. She signals him to look up into her eyes.

What he sees in her eyes are not fear or desperation, what he sees is a sign of hope. Something he hasn't seen in a while.

Tony brings his hands up to cup them into hers. He strokes the back of her palm when he says, "I am."

* * *

"Gear up. Police Officer dead outside a shopping mall in Fairfax," the familiar grey haired agent says.

The older man looks down at Tony - giving him a cold, but sympathetic look. He continues,"What? Jet lag got you down? If you haven't realized, you've been back for a week now."

Tony stands up, clips his firearm to his pants, grabs his backpack and walks directly to Gibbs,"A Police Officer Boss? Why are we going?"

As he is ready to feel Gibbs' hand connect to his head, it reaches Tony's right shoulder instead and it squeezes tightly.

"His wife's a marine, Dinozzo."

* * *

When Tony arrives at the scene, he could not help but to try and decipher what that dream meant. Sure it was similar to his other dreams, but something about this one seems a little more optimistic, more _real_.

She walked up to him and actually _made physical contact with him. She touched him_. In his other dreams, she never did such a thing. This certainly could not have meant something? Could it?

Suddenly, he remembers his last night in Israel. The call, the way it sounded like she was on the other end, listening. Why didn't she say something? Instead of making Tony feel like a complete idiot or worse, a desperate lunatic. Then again, he can't comply that it was actually her on the other end of the line, it could have been bad connection for all he knows. But one thing's for sure, his dreams are leading him to closer something or better yet, _to someone._

A feeling of pain interrupts his train of thought and brings him to reality.

"Dinozzo. Go with Mcgee to take witness statements," Gibbs' says as he gestures to younger agent behind them.

"Right away, Boss."

Walking towards the group of people, he finds Mcgee. He hasn't even noticed the younger agent's new look. Tony smirks at Mcgee and makes a joke about his attire.

"I have to go to a book signing this weekend, Tony. It's no big deal."

"Ah, McAuthor at a book signing? This is have to see," Tony acknowledged.

"How long has it been since you even read a book? A year?" Mcgee shot back.

"No. But it has been a while."

"That could be something to take in, then. On your free time maybe you could actually read a book?" Mcgee insists sarcastically.

"What do you have in mind?"

"There are a lot of good books, actually. You have Ira Levin, Stephen King, an-"

"Slow down, Tim. I think I am perfectly capable of finding a book to read," Tony smirks.

"Well, I do have books at my house too, if you don't want to spend any money," Mcgee suggests before the two men split to take witness statements.

After mere minutes and taking several witness statements, Mcgee circles his way back to Tony. The younger man obviously has something on his mind.

"Tony, I know I shouldn't really be asking you this because I'm pretty sure I've asked this a lot lately, but, uh, are you sure you're okay? I mean-"

Tony cuts him off,"It's alright Tim. And yes, I'm fine. I actually couldn't have been better. My two weeks away from NCIS was satisfying. Although I do regret not getting the team souveniers. But other than that, I feel great. This could almost be the best day of my life."

_He was lying._

* * *

In the bathroom, Tony turns on the tap and washes his face. Out of all days back to work, today is indeed the worst day of his life. His head keeps spinning and he feels that heavy weight on his shoulders again. A burden.

He shouldn't feel like this, really. But he can't help it. He can't help but think of what could've been if he stayed in Israel. The only thing that brings him back to reality are those dreams. The most recent one? It was a definite sign of hope. She could be coming back, yes. It is a possibility. Just not a high one. Tony understands that she needs time but he also knows the two of them are meant to be together. When she asked him his opinion on soul mates, he couldn't say his soul mate was her. He would just make a fool of himself, but what would have happened if he did? Would all of this be different? Would she be here in America?

He doesn't need to look behind him when he hears the door open and knows it's him.

"Got something on your mind, Tony?"

Tony cracks a wide smile at Gibbs, "It's nothing."

Somehow he knows Gibbs doesn't buy it.

"If you don't feel like talking, just listen," Gibbs says as he looks into Tonys eyes from the reflection from the mirror. "I don't care about whatever happened on your vacation. I gave it to you so you could get your head straight. I know the feeling of loss, Dinozzo. I know how it feels to think you're going crazy. But you need to get your damn act together before you do something you regret. I don't want you to be like me. There's still hope, you just have to _keep fighting for it_."

Tony froze like a deer in the headlights. Fighting for it? Now he understands.

He grabs a paper towel from the dispenser and drys his face and hands. When he looks up at Gibbs, he says what he always says when he realizes the boss is always right before he heads out of the bathroom.

"Thanks, Boss."

* * *

Determined to finish this case, he does not let fatigue take the best of him. Instead, he takes another swig of his coffee. It is just the two of them in the office - Mcgee is long gone.

"I think you should go home. It's been a long day. You could come back tomorrow morning," Gibbs says softly from across the bullpen.

"Boss, I know you're doing this because it's what's best for me, but I know I could crack this code. I can finish this case."

"Now you're getting a little too ahead of yourself. Go home, take a shower, get some sleep, you deserve it."

"But boss-"

"That's an order."

"Yes, boss."

Grabbing his things and putting them into his bag, he waves a final goodbye to Gibbs and waits for the silver doors to the elevator to open.

When he reaches the ground floor, he realizes he forgot his badge in his bottom drawer. The doors to the ground floor have already opened. Looking up, he sees someone he did not expect to see for a while. His heart beat began to pulse rapidly as his palms begin to sweat. "Ziva?" She nods as he sees her eyes begin to water. He distances himself from but for a couple minutes, but in the end he reaches out attempts to embrace her. His hands reaches out to nothing. He blinks a couple times and sees that he is alone in the elevator. Alone. Again.

However, the feeling of emptiness does not stop him from going up to the bullpen to retrieve what he forgotten.

* * *

"I told you to go home, Dinozzo."

"I know boss, I..I just forgot my badge," Tony says as he opens his drawer and claims what he had forgtten.

"Alright. Just remember tomorrow you have to be in by 0900."

"Yes, Boss."

Walking into the elevator once more, he looks down to the halt button. He flicks it upwards and feels the elevator come to a grinding halt. The emergency lights dim and the temperature begins to increase slightly. Tony slowly lowers himself to the floor, his shoulders starting to slump. He kept all his emotions inside masking his true feelings, he never had the time to stop and mourn. When he came back from Israel, he started working immediately. When he would go home, all he would do was drink almost a full case of beer and watch movies. It was a routine. He would purposely push thoughts about her aside, because he did not want to cry. He couldn't. After a couple minutes of hitting the sudden realization, he begins to do something he would not let himself do when he came back. Tears fall dubiously down his face. He begins to cry.

He knows a Dinozzo doesn't cry but she has this affect on him. With her gone, her absence reflects the emptiness he feels. Although he doesn't show it, underneath his macho façade, he is a very vulnerable person. He let her in, and she ran out.

The tears stop after fifteen minutes of empty thinking. He wipes the salty liquid on his face from his striped tie. He doesn't feel like moving at all. He thinks this confined space, that also held rather intimate memories, is a good place to embrace the quietness. Gibbs can take the stairs.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah, I kinda explained in the author's note earlier that the ending may be a little sad. But things are going to look better for Tony. Suggestions, and reviews are highly appreciated. Thanks! **

**~edancel x**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hi guys. I am blown away by all the favourites and follows. I also love reading them reviews, seriously.  
Other than that, I hope you guys have a wonderful week because for those specific readers, March Break is around the corner!  
I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter:)  
**

**Chapter 8**

* * *

Somehow, the heavy feeling on his shoulders come at ease when he enters a local library near the Navy Yard. After sitting in that elevator for at least an hour two nights ago, he considered what Mcgee told him to do. Even when he was looking through his wallet, he found his unused library card that could probably put to good use. So now here he is, on a Saturday morning scavenging for some good reads.

A particular book catches his attention. He picks it up from the brown dusty shelf and examines it. The Little Prince.

_That which is essential is invisible to they eye._

_Ziva David, did you just quote a movie?_

_No. I quoted a book that was turned into a movie._

He does not hesitate when he proceeds to the front desk to check out the book. The lady whom was scaning the book looks very similar to Ziva, albeit an older version of her. That definitely caught him by surprise. When finished, the woman hands the novel back to Tony and bids him goodbye.

* * *

"Tony? Are you actually reading a book?" Mcgee asks upon arriving in the bullpen. He grabs the novel from Tony's hands as he makes his way to his own desk.

Tony decisively follows.

"Yes, Tim. I guess I took it to the heart for what you said to me the other day," Tony says as he smirks at Mcgee, waiting for a reaction.

Tony ees Mcgee's eyebrows raise as he flips the novel over to read the back then returns it to Tony,"You know I didn't mean it seriously. But hey, if you want to read then there's nothing stopping you. You could become the new Matilda." The two men laugh in sync.

"Ah, did McAuthor just make a mcreference? But yeah, reading the first couple chapters really makes me onsider watching the movie again," Tony replies, placing the book back onto his desk.

As if on cue, Gibbs' walks in on the two, anxious to get what evidence his team brought together. "No one's watching a damn movie until this case is solved."

However, Tony did not let what his boss said keep him from reading. In fact, he thinks reading opened his eyes - like Mcgee said, he's becoming a Matilda.

Eventually, the team finally found a suspect, confronted him about the murder, and then arrested him. Another case closed. Tony could not stop smiling. No cases mean more time to read.

He could not explain on why he picked up the hobby, but it felt right. It felt right to get away from life and all the heart ache.

By then, Tony began a close friendship with the librarian, Helen. A small black haired lady who is her 60's. The first time he came into the library, she saw no difference between him and any other human being, but when she saw his face, she knew he was troubled. The bags underneath his eyes, and the weary smile he gave her could not tell her otherwise.

After that, she did not seen him for a while. But then one day he came in and returned the novel - only to check out another one. She couldn't blame him - it feels good getting lost into fantasy, it distracts people from the bad in the world. Although she was not familiar with the younger man's past, whenever he would come in she could visibly see the difference on his face. Everytime, he looks happier than before.

Weeks had gone by and Tony lost himself in books. His dreams - his weaknesses, they no longer appeared to him. He supposes losing himself in books is one of the best decisions he ever made, aside from joining NCIS of course.

* * *

"Tony? Is that you?" the lady asks, while shaking Tony's shoulders slightly.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, Helen. Kind of dose off for a couple minutes," Tony yawns.

Helen touches his shoulder, "Maybe you should go home? It is getting late and we are closing soon."

"What time is it?"

"It is almost 5:30, dear. We are closing in a half an hour. How about you check that book out now so you can get going," Helen suggests.

"You're right," Tony runs a hand through his hair.

Helen takes the novel from Tony and shuffles to her desk.

After minutes of unusual silence, Helen speaks," You know, I've been running this library alone for quite some time now, and I've been wondering if you would like to help me interview some people for a job here. Would you like to?"

Watching her scan the book, Tony chuckles,"I..I don't know. It would be nice, but maybe next time. It would be hard to fit it into my weekly schedule."

"I understand. But don't be surprised the next time you walk in. There could be another librarian other than me," Helen smiles brightly, laughing along with Tony.

Tony picks up the novel and begins to walk out the door before he says,"But one that is not as beautiful as you are, Helen. See you next week."

As the door closes , he could hear a muffled laugh behind him.

When he pulls into his driveway of the apartment complex, his phone begins to ring. Unbeknowest to him, his hand already made it's way to his pocket. He brings it up to his right ear.

"On my way, Boss."

* * *

He takes a book out of the shelf. On the other side, he sees her. At first he's not sure if it is really her but after further examination, he realizes it is her. He says her name. She looks up. He gives her that Dinozzo smile, and she does all but frown. He walks over to the next aisle - almost running for an embrace but she makes him stop a few feet in front of her.

"You are close, Tony," she says to him. Although he is not entirely sure if she means literally or contextually.

"Am I?" Tony replies, done playing games.

"Yes."

"How can I get closer?" He asks as he moves forward. He feels relief when she doesn't move back.

"Keep doing whatever you are doing, Tony," she whispers, voice barely audible.

When he blinks, she's gone.

* * *

It was a late Saturday morning when Tony came into the library. He did everything but dismissed his dream. That, is a new sign of hope. But how long can he keep doing this? Holding on to something that may or may not even happen? He dismisses his thoughts.

Walking inside, he immediately looks for Helen. When he finds her arranging books into the proper order, he apologizes for his absence. He explains to her that sometimes his job stops him from carrying on with his social life. After his conversation with her, he leaves her to search for a new book to read.

Lingering within the fiction section until he found the right novel, finding a chair close by, and reading the first couple chapters.

When he feels like he should leave and continue the book at home, he begins to make his way to check out at the front desk. He places the novel softly onto the beige surface. Looking up, he realizes he's alone. Helen is nowhere to be found. He pokes his head over the desk, but no one is in sight. He looks to his left and sees a small silver bell. Tony pushes it and waits all but patiently.

A lady who has a cascade of brown hair and olive skin walks in from a doorway not far from behind the desk. It is not Helen.

Tony brings his head forward as his palms instantly begin to sweat. God, she's beautiful. And yes, he definitely was not expecting her, he wasn't expecting a woman like her at all.

He brings out his defensive mechanism and cracks a wide smile, concealing his feelings.

"It's been a while hasn't it?" He finally manages to say, his voice raspy. He looks at her face for a reaction and sees that she is a little hurt. it may have come out a little more harsh than he expected. But she quickly regains her strength.

"Yes. It has." She says as she meets his green eyes, her israeli accent fairly obvious.

* * *

**I don't know if the ending of this chapter caught you all by surprise - it sure caught me by surprise when writing it haha. Keep writing those reviews, keep favouriting and following! Any suggestions or anything is always highly appreciated!**

**~edancel x**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Were any of you guys kind of disappointed with the 250th? I was very surprised that Senior didn't even mention Ziva. We all know he was a shipper lol. Anyways, here is your chapter 9! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9**

* * *

He closes his eyes for a brief moment to the point where he thinks that the world had gone still. As if she was another dream. But as he opens his eyes once more, there she is in front of him - giving him a weary and shocked look.

He stands his ground when emotions suddenly fill his body. A sudden lump formed in his throat, enabling him from talking any further.

When he observes her silently, she is looking downwards to the extent of her also biting her bottom lip. He wishes he could say something that would not make him seem like a jerk, but it's hard attempting to talk to her. In all honesty, all he wants to do is get past everything and be with her. Unfortunately, he knows he has to face this. He needs answers.

"So, how long have you been in DC?" he says after minutes of silence, masking his vulnerability once again, however instead of showing his comedic antics, a feeling of sudden anger fills inside him. When she finally looks into his eyes, she opens her mouth to speak. "Tony..," she begins but gets cut off.

"Not even a phone call Ziva? No text? What happened back there?" He hissed. Not even the softness of her saying his name calms him down.

"I was exploring my roots, as you said," she laughs weakly, trying to liven up their first conversation after months of no communication.

"I don't understand. After all the times I called you, when I needed you, you never answered your damn phone," he lets out loud sigh and places both of his elbows on the desk firmly, their hands only inches apart.

She looks up and sees the vulnerability and insecurity in his bold green eyes. Immediately she feels tears welling up on the inside of her eyes. Ziva tries her hardest to blink them back but to no avail. When they fall, she quickly wipes them away with the back of her hand.

"This is as hard for me as it is hard for you. Coming back to America felt right. But I was not ready to face the team again. I just needed to settle down first, find a job, a new apartment.."

"So me being here is just a total coincidence?" Tony looks up at her harshly.

"I do not believe in coincidences," she says firmly.

_Rule 39, _he thinks.

The silence brought between them gave him time to calm himself. When he thinks he should say what he truly feels to her, he says it with no hesitation."I've missed you." She nods.

"I know," she replies. He takes her hands into his then, caressing her fingers. She smiles brightly at him.

"How about we blow off this job and have something to eat, my favorite Israeli?"

She laughs at his remark. "I cannot, it is only my first day." She leans into him and kisses him on the cheek. Then Ziva adds,"My break starts at 3, you can come and pick me up then."

When he breaks their embrace, Tony smiles a genuine smile and proceeds to the front exit. But before he leaves, he says,"Be ready."

* * *

It was 1500 hours when he arrives at the library. He had to make up an excuse to the all-knowing Gibbs so he could have lunch with her. But knowing his boss, Gibbs probably knew exactly why Tony had to leave. Tony smoothly walks into the vicinity immediately looking for her. When he does see her, she is engaged into a conversation with Helen. Walking over to the two women, he plops himself to the nearest chair, watching them intently.

Ziva was the first to notice him. She turns from Helen and gives him an intimate smile. God, her seeing him enter the library gave her instant butterflies. It's funny how he still has that effect on him. When Helen sees Ziva turn her head towards the door, she does the same - a smile instantly formed on her lips.

"Tony! It is good to see you! This is my new librarian in case you were wondering, sweetie. Her name is Ziva David. She is a remarkable and beautiful young woman, don't you agree?" Helen beams.

As Tony is about to reply, Ziva cuts in. "Helen, Tony and I are already friends. In fact, he came here to pick me up so we can eat lunch. Do you want to join us perhaps?"

"Oh, that's wonderful to hear, dear. And that is quite an offer but I'm afraid no one will be here to watch the library." She gestures to Tony, "Go, you two have fun. He is a sweet man."

"Thank you, Helen. I will be back by 4:30, yes?" Ziva says.

"Oh no, no. You don't have to come back, sweetie. I'll be fine. You two just have fun, alright?"

As Ziva was about to protest, Tony cuts *her* off. "Thanks Helen. You are always my favorite librarian." Helen smiles.

When they make it to his car, he opens up her door. "M'lady." She gives him a hesitant look but continues to smile as she sits in the front seat of his convertible.

He closes her door and proceeds to his. Inserting the key, the two of them feel the car spark to life. After minutes of silent driving, Ziva begins to speak. "How long have you known Helen?"

He looks at her and begins,"I've known her for a couple weeks, actually. She is a very nice lady."

"Do you know a lot about her?"

"No, not really. Whenever I would come in we would acknowledge each other. Say hi, hello and whatnot." He pauses. "She would recommend books and stuff."

"I see."

Tony looks at her again then questions her. "What about you?" He adds softly,"You never answered my question."

"What? How long have I been in DC?" He nods. She continues. "Not long really. Almost two weeks."

"So.. you never considered contacting anyone? Not even Gibbs?" He inquires.

"No," she says quietly.

"Why?" he says, although he immediately regrets it. He turns slightly to face her to see if he had indeed gone too far, but her face remains like stone. When she finally finds the words she is looking for, she speaks. "I do not know. I think it would have felt right to see everyone after I have settled down again."

Tony presses his lips into a firm line. Ziva grabs Tony's hand - their fingers instantly interlocking. Then she continues,"Tony, I am sorry if I hurt you. It was not my intention. You have my back. But I didn't have yours. For that, I am truly sorry." She feels the grip on their hands tighten, as if it was a response. She looks at him, he smiles. As he opens up his mouth to reply, the car comes to an abrupt halt, arriving at their destination. A small white diner underneath a bridge.

The two unbuckle their seat belts in sync and begin to make their way to the doors. As Ziva is about to pull the door open, Tony stops her. He opens his mouth. "Please, Ziva. Promise me you will never leave me again. I _need _you in my life."

She furrows her eyebrows, showing him that she's shocked, but she regains her composure and touches his shoulder tenderly. "_I promise_."

* * *

The third day after Tony found Ziva in that library the two of them began to talk as if it were old times. It was a Saturday evening and Tony just got home from finishing a case. When he opens his door the first thing he sees is a figure visible from the moon light coming from the window. He places his things on the ground and moves closer to the figure.

"I wanted to surprise you," she laughs as she moves closer to him - obviously revealing herself.

"Well, you did. I thought _I_ was coming over tonight?"

He takes off his jacket and hangs it in his closet. When he comes back, she is sitting on his couch. He sits next to her. "I thought we could change things up a little," she says, shrugging.

"Well now the question is, are we ordering take out?" He says smugly. She laughs at question and mumbles a noise that sounds like a yes - he grabs his cell-phone from his back pocket and begins to call his favorite take out restaurant. When the delivery man arrives at his door, Tony takes in the beautiful smell of food known as fried rice and kung pow chicken. Tony then proceeds to the kitchen to grab plates for him and Ziva, commencing dinner.

Just after finishing their meals, Tony allows Ziva to pick a movie. Like always, she picks The Sound of Music to which Tony complains. He inserts the disk into his DVD player and sits back down next to Ziva. Although, they sit noticeably closer together than before. Halfway through the movie Tony looks at Ziva, who is enjoying the movie even after all the times she has watched it. Tony takes this distraction as a sign and begins to move his arm to grip her waist. She looks up at him and then rests her head on his shoulder, giving him the opportunity to pull her closer. By the time the Von Trapp family sing 'So Long, Farewell," Ziva is fast asleep on Tony. When the credits roll in, he turns the television off with the remote and carefully picks up Ziva. He proceeds to his bedroom to place her onto his bed. Before he leaves the room, he covers Ziva with the blanket and kisses her head lightly. Then when he finds the couch through the dark, he himself, finally lets sleep consume him.

* * *

**A/N: Please don't forget to review, follow and favorite! And thanks to all of you who take the time to read this story, it means the world to me. **

**~edancel x**


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